Rants First, then the Gratitudes...

I'm not supposed to attend tomorrow's graduation because of some lame reason I must not divulge to the public. And come on! I haven't been to the rehearsals for over three weeks now, and it was only yesterday that I got to visit DS for the first time since the incident and I only stayed there for less than an hour to greet these wonderful people I missed a lot and thank everyone for you-know-what. It wasn't even enough to be familiar with all the things I need to do for tomorrow. I don't know where to place myself yet, I don't know the songs, and generally, I only have the slightest idea of what I'll be doing there the whole time. In short, I'm going to be pretty much in deads tomorrow.

If it wasn't really for the navy blue toga and the people who would be attending the program, I wouldn't go. In fact, I don't attend recognition events ever since even if I'm part of it [my grade school grad is an exception though]. I don't know, I just don't feel it. And I believe I got that from my mom-- genetic, toodles. Anyway, our togas are cool. Wearing it, we don't look like high school graduates-- believe me. I like to have a cool shot wearing that. Niyaha. I'm afraid of those heels however.

There is one thing that makes me so excited about tomorrow, though. Mom, together with Randy, will be there, and Dad, together with Tita Shao and my cousins, will be there too! I mean, how cool is that having both sides of the family attend my most inexperienced graduation?.. Well actually, I find it extremely hilarious. I know that for both Mom and Dad, it'll be an awkward picture, but not to me!... Why? Well, I just thought it would be nice to see them interrelate with one another. Everyone has already moved on and for me, WHY MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF SOMETHING which doesn't really have any issue attached to it at all. It'll just be funny to see who would express a forced emotion. Come on, just be real guys! Haha.

Oh shoot, so I'm really attending my graduation tomorrow. And goodbye Dominican School-- to the school of my childhood, pre-teen, and mid-teen years, to the school where I learned my ABCs, where I learned to prevail over my blackboard and stage frights, where I got to meet cool and freaky teachers, where I got to excel in subjects I enjoyed and fail in subjects I abhorred, where I got my first fight with a boy, followed by another and another, where I learned not to be so pala-away and masungit with boys and eventually make friends with them, where I got to transform myself from a nerdy boyish gal to a cool preppy girl, where I got loads of recognitions, where I became indeed popular at some point in time, where I got to be part of the elections, where I had my first crush, first flowers, first love, and first boyfriend, where I met loads of friends and best friends, where I showcased my learned skills and talents, where I was able to develop my confidence, where I got to get out of the school grounds and compete even outside the region and bring pride and euphoria to my alma mater, where I got to be close to the teachers and personnel, where I met backstabbers and bitches, where I met accidents and all that, and WHERE I LEARNED TO BECOME A TRUE DOMINICAN in heart and soul.

Looking back to all these years I've been in DS, it's quite amazing how I survived the horrible and most amazing years of my stay there. I could say I hate DS for crying out loud, but I just can't help but be thankful to be part of the Dominican family. Thinking, maybe I'm not the person I am today if Mom didn't choose this private catholic school 12 years ago. I have the values I've learned, and the legacy that the Dominican School has given me will always be a part of me even if I extend my bittersweet bye byes now.

Thank you Dominican School. Thank you for allowing me to have the most wonderful memories of my life take place in you. Thank you for the wonderful places you have where I got to meet people, and where I was able to spend the best times in. Thank you for the great history you've shared with me through the years, I'll always be proud of you. I'll always be proud I am a Dominican.


****

FACES:

To the Religious and Dominican Faculty-- THANK YOU SO MUCH. I owe the things I’ve learned to all of you. You taught me the knowledge, the values, and the things I need to be a better person as I go through life. Thank you so much.

To my batchmates from Kinder 1 to 4th year, we've got loads of Dominican memories to share noh? And it feels great that you're part of it. Things are so much happier because you guys are around. To my current batchmates, I'm really gonna miss you all. We've got the best times and the worst times, but see, we still seem as if we're one united battalion. I'm gonna miss everyone, seriously. We're all moving on now. We won't be seeing each other as often as before, but I'm sure that the next time we'll all be gathering like one big family again, it will be a day of better hellos and better see-you-agains. Congratulations to all of us coz we've made it! Let's keep our hopes up, and hope to see you guys very very soon.

To the barkada and friends: It's been such amazing years, and I'm glad that despite everything we've been through, nandun parin yung samahan. Most of the best times I had with friends, I spent with you guys. I can seriously cry right now going back through all the times we've had. Sigh. I know we'll all be parting ways soon, but I hope that we'd still be keeping in touch. Mwah.

To the undergrads I've been friends with [you know who you are]: Doumo Arigatou, thank you, salamat, for the friendship. Ü Enjoy DS as much as you can, coz I'm not kidding when I say, you're going to be miss DS terribly when you graduate.



I enjoyed my 12 years of stay. Thank you very much. And I will miss you.

Never Pointless

It's Holy Week here and everybody, well not really everybody, is on a mega hot pre-Summer vaca. I'm not really one of these nudges--- these people who just last week accidentally broke their stiletto heels rushing for time, and deadlines, and loud bosses, and blah blah blah, coz hell I, on my part, haven't been to school, to the mall, or anywhere else yet but home ever since I got out from the hospital when I was supposed to be stressing out for papers and deadlines too. [LABO eh] So thess 3 weary weeks I'm consuming doesn't really count for a sweet vaca, does it? Hmmm.... Seven more months before I'm fully healed?! Ha-di-ha.

While I'm hearing the quarter half of the teen population whine about how dull their week's going or grope around for constructive and bleak things to do, I worry about what to worry first in my inexorable listing of arbitrary thoughts.

Last week, I felt like I was getting used to doing absolutely nothing dynamic and positive. And I thought I must must MUST not allow indolence manipulate the way I think and do things. I must stop all the idleness and start brainstorming about what to do to be productive regardless of me being undeniably ill.

First, I thought it would be nice to go back to my virtual world since the only thing I got for now is my ever faithful DSL internet connection. Then there it is, starting off with some blog updates to rekindle this old blog, video watching on YouTube [I'm so into it right now,], DeviantArt browsing to get crazy creative art ideas, some blog hopping to get updated with online buddies, posting in forums, web browsing, and a lot more. I also feel like going back to my Jpop-Kpop-Jdorama-Kdorama-Anime madness. Haha.

Second, aside from getting my virtual life back, I thought of turning this Designs and Layouts service I'm handling into serious business. I'm still thinking of a good business label that would fit what I do and who's doing it [that's me of course, dope], and I'm planning to take this one not only online but in the real world as well. Besides, designing and layouting is actually my hobby, I enjoy it, and I want to make money. I'm not expecting to earn big-time here. I just like to have extra moohlahs around. I'm also thinking of getting a job this Summer. But since it will still take 7 more months before I'm finally healed from the operation, I doubt it. It won't hurt to try though.

Third, I thought I must start paying attention to my setting off in college. I mean, I haven't really been taking this college stuff seriously and good heavens know I'm not really giving full attention to it. And now it has hit me, that hey me, in one week I'm gonna be officially graduating from highschool with my navy blue toga and after that, it's the start of my potential battle for college slot in UST. I'm sweating as I type that. Woo! I've got to report in UST by April 10, and I must must MUST be able to get there whatever, I MEAN, WHATEVER happens and get a pre-enrollment testimony. Otherwise, I'm gonna be doomed for life.

Anyway, Summer's around the corner and it's freaking HOT, man! And what better way to enjoy the Summer than beaches and chilly ice creams is by having lots of quality ME-time to get ready for the entirely new world I'll be going into this June.

P.S.
I really would appreciate if you UST people could give me some encouraging stuff, or tips, or anything! Just help me wake my UST-bound, college-bound mind.. please please PLEASE!

P.S.S.
Mr brother's so adorable isn't he? [see post below]

Mwah. Ü

Son of God


Olo Oho to my brotho lo oho!

Welcome to the Christian world my Jari Jari JARI boy! Ah, yes. He's a christened man now, and he's up for it. Too bad I wasn't able to attend his baptism last March 08, 2008 @ Guadalupe Nuevo Church [DAD! Tama ba?] for I .... well.... just got out from the hospital then and obviously couldn't make it at that time. NOT sweet.

Anyway, thanks to technology, I had a teeny idea of what went through during the whole occasion. When Dad showed and sent me Jari's baptismal photos thru the internet, I was like, "Man, he's gotten big!". The last time I saw him he hardly opens his eyes and his face wasn't as plump as his cutie chubby face now. And geesuz, his eyes are gorgeous. This little guy will break many girls' hearts. HAHA.

The happy and proud parents of little man.

I really wanna see my haffie brothie already! You'll wonder why oh why in the world would he not want a glimpse of a nudgehead? HUH! Anyway, I'll be seeing more of him naman starting June. And in June I'm off to college! Oh boooy.

I love you so much brother dear. See you soon. :)

***

How are you?

Ever since I got hospitalized, and finally be able to get home, things have changed a lot. I can't still say though if things have changed for the better or for worse, but all I can say is that, I'm happy but wee percent down. Well, of course, there are lots of things to be happy about like being alive after what happened, being given a second chance to live my life, being remembered by people I thought already forgot me, being missed by people I didn't expect to miss me, being lucky to have almost all the people around me treat me like some disabled superior, and etcetera. But you see, I'm not used to some of these things.

I'm still recovering from the surgery, obviously, and part of this period is going through all the painful process of healing. The operation site still hurts a lot and I still can't move that much. Limited movements. I lie down almost all the time and what better way to kill the impending boredom here at home is to sleep my heart out.

My food consumption is better now than before where two spoons and a sip of water I'm already full. No more liquid or soft diets for I can take full meals now. I eat what I can tolerate but I take them in small amounts. My walking is still terrible. It takes me more than a few minutes to move from one place to another because I take one small careful step at a time, and every step hurts I tell you! I can't stand straight. And worse? I can't sit down that long. It's the same as saying, I can't fold myself. Hh?! So lying down's the best position for me now-- straight, no side to side. It hurts.

I'm lucky that I have my aunt Edith, who serves as my caregiver now, who does things for me. She would bring me my food, give me my medications, help me get up, making alalay to me everytime I wish to walk or sit, help me do my thing inside the bathroom [Peeing is extremely painful man], wakes me up in the morning and waits at night til' I decide to hail everyone goodnight, etc. It's good to have her really. For if someone like her is not around, I will be doomed for life, I swear.

But downside is, I'm so not used to being served like this. I mean, I know I still can't do some things alone but man, I just don't feel that at ease. I'm used to doing things my own and how they treat me at home feels like I'm some disabled girl who got nothing but doom. But I'm very thankful though. As in VERY.

The ordeal may not be finished yet, but hey... I'm getting there. And I can't wait to get my life back. And live the normal, second life, BETTER.

The Untold Story

It was about seven in the evening when I came home rushing on TV for American Idol. I still had my daily uniform on while watching David Archuleta sing this song I'm not familiar with. He was good. Way too good for someone his age. I sat on the living room's chilly flooring, just beside my grandmother who was sitting at the rocking chair at that time. We were both cheering for David, and then all of a sudden I felt a slight slicing pain in my abdominal area, specifically just below the navel. I was feeling the pain, but undeterred with my watching.

I thought I was hungry since the last time I had something to munch on was four hours ago. I went into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and took the bottle of Coke. I drank two glasses of Coke before I walked my way back to the living room, with my grandmother still on the rocking chair and Ryan Seacrest doing the numbers on TV. The pain was still there, but it wasn't painful enough to bother me…. no... not yet.

Commercial break, I went into the study area to check the PC if the internet connection was fine [I had loads of encoding to do that time that were all due the next day]. It was fine one nanosecond then great, the connection was failing me again. Since it would take a few minutes before the connection could get back on line, I went back to the living room to continue my watching, just to see Credits rolling in on the telly. The pain was more painful now, I thought I had to go to the comfort room. After one not-so-successful comfort room distress, I went back to my glass of Coke thinking it would somehow ease the pain.

When I headed back to the living room, they were already praying the rosary, which has been a family habit by the way and was so monotonous for me to participate in at that time that I decided to go straight to the study room and finish all my PC works instead. It wasn't even like ten minutes after I sat in front of the PC when I felt the pain again that literally made my knees go all weakly and shaky.

I ran to the comfort room only to find myself struggling for nothing. I gave up inducing bowel movement and went back to the living room, [they were already finished with the rosary],. Walking my way towards the couch, the pain was already painful enough to bother me. Grandfather was sitting on the couch and before I could even reach him, I fell down the floor with hands on my hurting tummy.

"… uhh… ang sakit ng tiyan ko…" I cried.
"Ano bang nakain mo?" my grandmother asked who was still sitting at the rocking chair. Before I could even answer her, I cried out loud in pain. My mind was racing. I remembered the laing and chicken curry I ate at Mrs. Valle's at lunch, the green mango I ate come dismissal time, the pineapple juice, the hotdog, everything I ate during the day. I suspected the green mango. Grandmother suspected the laing.

"Kung san san ka kasi kumakain di mo tinitignan kinakain mo.." grandmother was lecturing me. Haha, I was still crying in pain. She told me to drink frosty Coke, she said it would "kill the bacteria in my stomach."

"Ayoko ng Coke. Andami ko na ngang nainom pero mas lalong sumasakit tiyan ko… UHHH!!!!.... " I cried again in pain. The pain was unbearable that I was already lying and rolling on the floor. Then I began to feel weak, as if something had zapped away all my strength. I was lying there on the floor, now with pillow to embrace on my still hurting tummy, my mind started racing again. The lesson plan, which included less fifty pages of encoding and was due the next day, I couldn't start. My guy and my groupmates, I still hadn't texted him nor them yet. I was worried, I couldn't even get my phone because of the pain that was bringing me tears. My thesis, which kept on begging me for one serious topic, I couldn't even find time to research. My clearance, which needed clearing up the next day for me to take the finals, I couldn't even work on. Everything I needed and wanted to do I couldn't do… I was helpless.

Everyone was worried, the pain didn't want to show any sign of relieve. Amazingly though, I was able to do some joking with my cousins despite the pain I was feeling. I was able to handle a few laughs that I knew made my grandfather thought I wasn't serious about my pain.

Two hours had passed, I found myself lying at my grandparents' bed. I was feeling weak, and nauseous. I began fearing food poisoning.

"dalhin ka na namin sa ospital?" grandmother asked me.
"ayoko.. andami-dami ko pang dapat tapusin…" I was literally crying in frustration and pain.

It was so painful, I feel so weak and shaky, I wanted to vomit. But I never thought of anything worse. Grandmother was so worried he asked grandfather to fetch my uncle, whose flight was scheduled the next morning, since he was the only person who could possibly drive me to the hospital. Uncle Jun's house was just five houses away from ours, so it wasn't long til' I found myself on the way to Villaflor Hospital with my Uncle, Uncle's father, grandfather and cousin, Leslie.

Before I knew it, I was already lying there at the Emergency Room, with faces I wasn't familiar with, asking me questions and questions and more questions. Then I heard them say I had to be admitted to the hospital for observation. I was frustrated, I was thinking things, but I couldn't do anything.

About 10:25PM, a nurse was working the dextrose on my right hand. The needle was painful. I remember my abdomen being checked twice by two different doctors. They both told me the possible diagnoses of my abdominal pain. There were many. But one stood out… appendicitis. But I wasn't sure. I knew, since the pain hadn't resided yet on the right side of my abdomen. I was under observation.

I was informed that I was scheduled for ultrasound the next morning at 9am, so I was transferred to a room. The room was 306A, a ward. I didn't like it there. I have around me patients of old age, patients who seemed to have accomplished many in life but found themselves there, weak, after many years of living, struggling for wellness. I thought, I wasn't one of them, I haven't accomplished much yet, I am well.

Few minutes had passed and the pain still hadn't subsided yet despite the fact that I was already in a hospital. I felt like I wasn't getting any better. Nurses came, checking my BP, my temperature, getting samples, bla bla, and went. I wanted the pain to just go right away and go home. Time continued to pass and a few while Jeff came to visit me; but he didn't stay long, after he bid his goodbye, several moments later, Dr. Villaflor, together with the nurses, came to check me. He checked my abdomen, asked me questions, told me that I might be suffering from appendicitis, and then he talked to my mom on phone. I started feeling a bit scared just thinking of the possible procedure I might go through once appendicitis had been confirmed.

It was almost two hours since I got in that room. Leslie was beside me updating every person that needed to be updated, and grandfather was outside. Mom and Dad kept calling me-- I remember Dad's calm voice and Mom's "nagtataray" voice, both were keeping me up. As time ticked, I still couldn't find the comfort of staying there. Next thing I knew I was already being transferred to a private room at the fourth floor, room 423. The room wasn't big, but it was way better, way comfortable, and way cooler. But still, the pain was getting worse than I thought. A few minutes later, I was fetched by two nurses and was wheeled back to the ground floor for my ultrasound, which was supposed to be done the next morning. Apparently, the doctors decided to have my ultrasound right away to check my appendix.

"… may internal bleeding ka.. andaming dugo…" the doctor, who was doing my ultrasound, said.
Apparently, there were lots of blood located at unusual parts of my body that she couldn't even see my appendix. Internal bleeding... Ruptured Corpus Lutuem… I was hearing these words. I knew something was seriously wrong. After some time, Dr. Raymond Casipit came. [Dr. Casipit is Ynah's older brother]. I was referred to Dr. Casipit by mom upon suspecting appendicitis, but since it was turning out that appendicitis was negative, certain actions I wasn't really aware of were made. I was wheeled back by a friendly guy to my room after.

I was back in my room. The pain was stabbing. I thought, I couldn't stand it any longer. I remembered the bleeding that was mentioned by the doctor.. I realized that this was beginning to get serious. I found myself in the bathroom assisted by Leslie the second time I had to give urine for urinalysis. I found it hard to pee. It was taking me and Leslie time inside the bathroom while a nurse and Dr. Casipit were outside, waiting. Suddenly, I began to feel lightheaded, my vision already becoming blurry.. I knew something wasn't right, "Les, nahihilo ako.. di ko na kaya.." I told my cousin,. I opened the bathroom door and before I could faint and turn my world pitch black, Dr. Casipit came to me and helped me back to the hospital bed. He said I must try to sleep.

And then I dozed off…

I woke up with nurses positioning the bedpan on the bed. [Bedpan is used to contain the pee from a patient who can't afford to stand up and go to the bathroom]. So I knew, I was already bed-ridden. With the bedpan now properly positioned, I still couldn't pass urine. It felt like I lost control over my bladder. The nurses said they would insert a catheter inside me if I really couldn't do so it'll be easy to empty my bladder without me manipulating. When they got back with the catheter, the pain was already reaching my chest and I found it hard to breathe. The installation of the catheter was painful as well and it was uncomfortable. What was worse was that the pain was so intense that it already reached my shoulders.

Every move I made I felt pain. Every inhale-exhale of the air I breathe I felt pain. My right shoulder felt as if it was being crushed down. My chest felt heavy. I felt like I was dying..

What's wrong with me?..., I thought. Am I gonna die?

I felt dozing off..

I know I wasn't asleep, but I couldn't see clearly. I didn't know what was happening around me, but I could hear voices. I could hear conversations I didn't quite understand. Then I heard a woman's voice call my grandfather. "Kausapin daw po kayo ng doctor sa labas.." she said.

I so knew I was in serious trouble…

I was lying there in the hospital bed, with all the pain I rated more than ten. I was so scared of what could possibly happen. I wanted to know what was happening, but I was growing weaker and weaker as time continued to pass by.

I heard the door opened, and strange voices flew everywhere. Then I heard a familiar voice, it was my grandfather's voice… "ooperahan ka daw…". He said. I was taken aback.

Then I dozed off again…

I remember waking up being transferred to a stretcher in my room. When they started wheeling me outside my room, I saw Leslie's worried face. I looked at her for a few seconds then I was wheeled down to the operating room. I remember the same friendly guy who manned my wheel chair when I was wheeled down to the Ultrasound, he was the same guy again, telling me to just relax while he transported me to the OR.

I saw the room sign, OPERATING/DELIVERY ROOM, it said. I still couldn't believe I would be going through this. I never thought this would happen to me. Inside the room, there were many people dressed in their full medical gowns that I couldn't even see their faces. They were all moving like bees and as if they were rushing for something. I saw them preparing the bed, the things needed for the operation, this and that. I saw a wall clock on my left; it read 3:00 am. Before I knew it, I was already transferred to the working bed. They took my upper limbs, did what has to be done while I felt pain here and there. The last thing I could remember was the sight of this something that they put on my mouth and the room's old white ceiling.

After the operation, I was transferred to the ICU, where I remember trembling so hard it felt like I was in a room below zero degrees.

When I finally woke up and I found myself back in my room, room423. I felt weird; it was like waking up from a very bad dream. I tried to move, but I couldn't. I felt pain all over instead. Then I looked around the room and see familiar faces. I thought, how did they get here? .. Then I remembered what happened last night.

Then there began my second ordeal, the post-operation ordeal.

The first few days were tough. I was completely helpless. The pain from the operation was unbearable. I couldn't eat. I felt like hell. The pain was the worst pain you can ever feel physically. I abhorred being on that state, it was something I never imagined.

Everyday, I would have different visitors. Visitors, that wished me well, gave me encouragements, and smiles. I was feeling positive vibes embracing me the moment I realized how lucky I am to have all these people in my life.

As I tried to regain my strength during the duration of my stay there, I WAS TOLD OF THE REAL STORY:

***

>> That night, back at home, my grandfather refused to believe at first that I was really in pain since I could manage to do some joking then, hence the rebuff to bring me to the hospital. It was only when I was already at my grandparent’s room with my grandmother that he began to believe everything since I already looked weakly. Grandmother then asked him to fetch Uncle Jun since he was the only person who could possibly drive me to the hospital. I was able to tell them not to bring me to the hospital anymore so not to bother uncle Jun or anybody else and since I still have loads of things to do. Before I knew it, Uncle Jun, together with Lolo Vicente, his dad, arrived then together with Leslie and Grandfather, we were already on our way to Villaflor Hospital.

After the doctors and nurses checked me up at the Emergency Room, I was transferred to a ward. Mom kept on us by phone. She asked them to transfer me to a private room, instead, and referred me to Dr. Casipit instead of Dr. Villaflor or whoever was my attending doctor at that time.

I was transferred to room 423, stayed there for almost half an hour then wheeled back down for the ultrasound where they found what was really wrong. Dr. Casipit, upon seeing that I had to be referred to another specialist, called my mom and off they talked about everything.

Back to my room, the second time I was trying to pass urine for a urine sample, I felt like fainting. I told Leslie I wasn't feeling good anymore. I almost fell on the floor when I opened the bathroom door, but Dr. Casipit, who happened to be there inside my room with a nurse, came to help me get back on my feet. He told me to lie down, and sleep. They needed a urine sample so nurses were sent to get me a urine sample. They used bedpan since I could no longer manage to stand up and go to the bathroom. Since I still found it difficult to pass urine, they instilled a catheter connected to my bladder so passing of urine would be easy.

Moments later, grandfather was called by the nurse since the doctor had to speak to him. The doctor, Dra. Castro, who happens to be on phone told him that I had to get operated right away. Grandfather didn't consent the operation at first since he still had to call my grandmother so to inform her. The doctor said he must sign the papers right away since I was already in danger and my case was an Emergency Case. SHOULD THE OPERATION BE DELAYED FOR ANOTHER HOUR OR TWO, I'D BE DEAD.

Grandfather asked Leslie to call home so he could speak to grandmother. Grandmother said that Mom and Dad didn't want to consent the operation right away. They were worried that I might really didn't need an operation. But Grandfather knew better.

Grandfather then, after the phone call went to settle things with the attending nurses, and approved the procedure.

The operation lasted for almost 3 hours. They swore the operation wasn't easy. The procedure was Pelvic Lap., Ovarian Cysectomy. The doctor told me that they were really racing with time that time that they were really doing the procedure fast. SHOULD THE OPERATION BE DELAYED FOR LESS THAN AN HOUR AT LEAST, I'D BE DEAD. During the operation, they asked grandfather to enter the operating room. Grandfather told me later that when he entered the OR, puro dugo daw nakita niya. Anyway, they asked grandfather to buy AB+ blood [which is a rare blood type] @ R1 since I was losing massive amount of blood. They removed one and a half LITERS of blood in me, and because of that, my blood pressure was decreasing fast, which was dangerous. They said they even had to use this what they call plasma expander. After the operation, I was wheeled to the ICU. And later on back in my room.

The second day after the operation, my hemoglobin dropped to 6.8 that I still needed two units/bags of AB+ blood [So that would be a total of 3 units already]. I remember seeing my hands so pale, so white/yellowish that it didn't look alive anymore. Thank God, Red Cross had available.

The next days of my stay in the hospital were horrendous, if I say the most. Everything was P-A-I-N. It was really the worst pain you can ever feel physically. Lying there in my hospital bed felt like frozen hell. I even thought that even if I survived the operation, I might not survive the pain, and all the ordeals I was and would be going through.

When I was discharged at the hospital and finally got to stay home, I still felt helpless. I had my own caregiver who would do simple, easiest things for me. Staying home was worse coz now I have less people to talk to, or to see. All I do IS lie in bed and wait till I get fully recovered. And that still is up til now. Sigh, At least now I can already sit up and play around with the PC.

I still can't do a lot of things. And it sucks, I'm telling you. If truth be told, I feel sicker here at home that I was in the hospital. Sigh.

But I am doing my best to regain my lost energy. In time, the wounds will heal, and the pain will just go away with the rest of hell-ish feelings.

I feel so lonely here. But I know that by the time I'm so so SO well, FUN and Joy will hit me BIGTIME. :)

***

Gratitude

I would like to thank the following people:


>>GOD [for giving me a second chance to live my life. :)]

>>Dra. Evelyn Castro and all the Villaflor nurses who attended me [FOR SAVING MY LIFE]

>>Dr. Raymond Casipit, Dr. J Villaflor, Dra. Lalas, Dra. Castillo, and the other doctors.

>>The Family: Lola Oriang, Lolo Benny, Leslie Ann, Dessiree, Mommy Maira, Daddy Gerald, Auntie Edith, Lola Tita, Lola Aida, Lolo Aurel, Lola Alejandria, Lola Meling, Auntie Sally, Auntie Belen, Uncle Billy, Uncle Tommy, My little cousin Tintin, My cuz Kathleen, Mark Phillip, Auntie Lane, Uncle Jun, Lolo Vicente, Lola Nieves, Uncle Alaw, Tita Elma, Tito Luis, Tito Marvin, Cousins Nikki, Mike, and Josh, Tito Roland, Tito Randy, Tita Sharon, Relatives from the Quitlong, Bautista, and Decano family.

>> Jeffrey [We've got the same bloodtype. LOL :P], Tita Gigi, Rachelle Ynah, Erika, Charmaine Mae, Hedy, Rhealyn and Rachel [TY a lot], Crystal, May Anne, Kathleen Rose, Armely, Charmaine V., Camille, Majie, Lorena, Ariane, Renz, Charisse, all the YUARJI family, the 07-08 senior batch especially the SD family, Sr. Goretti Verga [for all the prayers, and considerations], Sr. [yung sa catechist], Mrs. Sarmiento, Mang Andong for the TP, Mam Veron, Ate Marlyn and Ate Virgie [for assisting my lola in school], Mrs. Valle [even if Grandmother abhorred you. lol], to all my subj teachers,

>>... and to all the people I forgot to mention, who wished me well, prayed for me, gave me encouragement, who never forgot me, ... THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Almost everyone I know in my life knows what I went and going through right now. And I am so thankful I have all of them in my life. Since what happened was a game of chances, I defy myself lucky and blessed. Thank God really for everything.

I finally got to see Jari for the first time when I went to Tarlac, Pangasinan, Tita Shao's hometown. He was so small yet he surprised me with his excited giggles that brought me excitement all the while. My stay there in Tarlac was fun. By lunchtime, Tita Shao and Dad brought me to Isdaan. I thought they were gonna bring me to an Isdaan, with fishnets and fishermen, and all that. Funny. Isdaan turned out to be an awesome, Thai-inspired, floating [literally] eating place. The place was worth every click of the camera I swear. That Tacsiyapo thing where you throw plates, or anything that you wish to "make bato" to this Tacsiyapo wall, IT'S AMAZING. It's a great therapy for those who want to release that emotion.

I enjoyed our all-night long to sawa videoke. AHA.

QUATTRO! All the days and weeks of perspiration, admiration [KUYA BRYAN!], humiliation [sir Barbie], deformation and amalgamation [huh?!], starvation, dehydration, passion, and inspiration for the Foundation day paid off that come the F-DAY, we, seniors of batch 07-08, finished off as Champions in the most poignant, irritating, yet exciting HS Cheerdance Competition. And for additional cheers of victory, the Encord band finished second in place at DS 07 Band Competition [It's good to bring the drummer back in me, y'know] and has gained humble attention from a recording studio manager. NIIIICCEEE!!!

Here's a full vid of our cheerdance:

NUMBER SEVEN: JP et al Productions' event which was the KANTA KABANDAAN '08, Himig at Tinig Handog ng Kabataan, The Battle of the Bands @ Calasiao was a complete and utter success. The complex was filled with lots of people from town here and there, and we weren't really expecting it. The participants were great, and they really rocked their heart out. Whereas I, had a great time too doing the tickets at the entrance [hey, it was FUN] with the others and had fun as well spending some time with the Parayno family during the event.

Sponsors' logo were included in the tarp that was used as the stage backdrop for the event

By the way, have I mentioned to you that Erika, together with the Archia band, joined the said competition? Huh. Oh yes, they did. In fact, they renamed their band PRIMA DONNA for the competition, and man were they awesome! It was Erika's first time to do the vocals alone and to tell you honestly, I wasn't surprised that she gave out the best rockstar in her. I mean she was good. Okay. Want proof? Watch the video below:

I loved Chichi's hair, I SWEAR!.

So to everyone in JP et al Productions, CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Anyway, I just want to show you the ticket layout I designed for the event. Haha. This will serve as a small-time marketing of what I do.

Basically, I do layouts and designs for "just anything that needs some layouting and designing work on it ". So if you wanna try me, or say, if you're interested, e-mail me at cacao626@yahoo.com // I also do blog layouts. Bow.

Numero EIGHT! Eight! 8!

MISS LOVELESS-NO-BOYFRIEND-EVER-AGAIN-KUNO-SINGLE-POR-LAYP is officially and currently ... inlove.