P.K.A.I.K.


Have you ever been in a situation where you want something so bad, which you thought in the beginning was far from possible to get, then all of a sudden it's coming to you... you want to just seize it because you know it's something that would make you happy but you realized that the whole lot might be insanely wrong. Would you still go for it, take all the risks, and face the consequences? Or steer away from it, let fear get to you, and face no consequences?

As I'm telling everyone since last night.. I'm so confused. I'm so confused with certain things I'm not ready to spill to the public yet. Or if I would ever spill it to the public. Nahihiya akong magsalita, because I fear what people would have to say about it, would they judge me? Would they see me as a frantic stupid girl who doesn’t use her big lousy head?

I asked for certain people's advices, and they were all right. Like my "big sissy" said, "everything happens for a reason.. and it's all up to you to find that out"... I mean, yeah sure, everything happens for a reason indeed and whatever the reason behind what I'm going through these days, I hope it all ends up well. I know myself for being strong naman but what's happening? You know what is holding me back? It's fear. I have loads of things being feared about... and it's taking me so many attempts to build up my strength and kill all the fears I have.

I want to try go for it and face whatever consequences that come with it but I'm not sure if I'm ready. It's too risky, I tell you. And I really don't know if I could handle it or not.

It's true. I'm now ending up eating my own words. I was basically telling everyone certain things that's obviously convincing almost everyone.. then now, I'm going through what was what I was against before.

Ewan. I feel weak when it comes to this-that-must-not-be-named-yet. Nakakainis. Let's just pray na kung anu man maisipan kung gawin in the end, like my cousin Kath told me, I hope not to end up having regrets...

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For someone:

Hey you beautiful asshole who keeps on annoying me, who keeps on making fun of me, and you jerky who keeps me laughing every time we're together, THANK YOU. Thank you for accepting me. Thank you for teaching me things in life.

You know what's funny? You're the only person in the world who has ever hit me right at my weakest point. You hit me right then and there and then you did something to transform my weakness into a potentiality. Even I, myself, couldn't ever do what you did. And you know what, all the things that you told me last night has kept me uplifted. Why? Because you're the only person who sees me the way people don't. Even my parents or closest friends or family wouldn't have the guts to tell me what you told me.

I'm happy that in a short span of time, you've shown me genuine willingness to share what your life's like. I know I tend to annoy you almost all the time too, but hey, I love annoying you. Because you are fun, and you listen to me. You laugh at my corniest jokes and you're so sincere... again, NUTHEAD, THANK YOU SO MUCH! Thank you for the company. I really want to know you more pa... I'll always be around.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! SINO YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN?!!!!


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PAHIRAM AKO CARD READER PLEASE? 4-SD, 4 SAG! uy.