5:08 AM
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Ang Sagots
"Bakit hanggang ngayon hindi ka pa ulit nagkakaboyfriend?"
"err. Oo nga noh?"
I'm young. Why the hurry? I know. I had my heart broken once, no.. twice, err.. that jerk... okay, thrice! So maybe I got my heart hammered and severed several times, but no baby, that doesn't account for why I don't want to have "someone" right now.
It's true. There's nothing better than being a single life-pooping chocoholic monger. I mean, you've got
more freedom now minus all the worries. No last minute calls for sorry-baby-I'm-gonna-be-late or where-the-hell-are-you-baby-I'm-starving. No fussing over that seducing tunic dress swanked by that no-face dummy at Top Shop's window with some bothersome SALE! banners screaming right at your face,--yes you ditch it for that oh-so-precious gift for your anniversary. And God, no more latenight calls all the while missing your much-awaited CSI episode. Obviously, without someone to bother you with your life's
luho... is simply
A GIFT. Haha.
On a more serious note, I think another reason why I don't want to have a boyfriend right now is that
I have other priorities. For me, it
ain't the same as having no time for such since I can carve up time for absolutely anything. [Okay, so if you're planning to date me after reading that, right now my answer is a fat
NO! ] Priorities I tell you such as studies [NUMBER ONE of course], dreams [yeah, I still dream... ], family, friends, and
real life education.
When I had my last relationship, which was the most serious relationship I had [
thus far], I almost lost my most trusted friends. And I almost lost my family's trust. When that happened, it took me time before I realized that
it was my fault being so hooked with my now ex-guy that I no longer had time with my friends and that the words I was saying to him had upset my family especially my dad. I didn't know what slapped me that I realized I must dump him and try win my friends and my family's trust back. Fortunately,
when I got him out of my life, life got better.
The relationship I had with him was the sweetest and craziest I had, so far. And because of all the things I'd never thought I'd experience when we were still together, I realized loads of things. I realized that my life doesn't have to revolve around some jerk who will break my heart soon. I realized that I could live without him. I realized that guys can do just anything-- he can tame your heart, and he can aggravate it all at once. And I realized that being not with him is like discovering the world outside you. That out of his arms, you see the real world-- not just romance, dreams, and lies.
Some may disagree with me, I understand. But this is what I feel. I feel I don't need a lover to make me happy, and make me feel loved. Coz hey, the love I'm getting from my family and friends [and God, of course] is immeasurable.
It's sweet. It's humble. It's real. It cannot be compared to the vague love a lover may give you. And you know what's the best thing about not having someone?
You can be yourself. And you're three hundred percent sure you are accepted for who you are-- even if you snore so loud at night, even if you eat with catsup and Worcestershire sauce at the same, and yes, even if how intractable and selfish you are.
And you know what's one thing I want? That is to learn live life harmoniously amidst the shits this world can offer. I don't mean it the Sr.-Althea-Values-class way, I mean it the sweet stubborn Meggie way. While many girls out there fuss over being "single and alone" that some become extremely desperate that they do unimaginable things I detest enumerating, I beg to differ. My way is a solid God-family-friends-ONLY life. Take it from me. It's great. :)
Windixies...
I am single and... avai happily living life. :)
****
News!!!
>> The over-all champions in the DS Sports Fest 07, which unfortunately I missed, were the Seniors batch 0708-- KAMI YUN! Woo hoo! I am so proud of you, guys! Even if I wasn't able to witness how great you fudgers were, I know you guys ought to have it.
>> Dominican School won as champions, of course, in the UP Subol Padunungan Competition. AMEN TO ALL THE PARTICIPANTS! [PS: OMG I'm so proud of you KATLEN! You're such a great BITCH! :P]
>> I bagged quite a few gold in the School's Press Conference [News writing, Feature Writing, Copy reading]. I was also held as the Best Newscaster in the radio broadcasting competition. OMFG, and these all means that I'm gonna go to the Division level, baby! See you bitch! =P
>> Sir Jeff told us something... hmmm.. and it's really really really interesting. Of course, it's for me to get excited about and for you to know...
Bad News:
I'll be posting something about our retreat in TAGAYTAY as soon as I find the card reader. :P Since it's taking me like forever finding the stupid reader, well........
12:05 AM
Thursday, October 25, 2007
I'm confused. What?! am I? Uh yes. Yes?
I'm currently in a state of after-grad crisis. Right now, I still don't know what course to get in college, what university I'd choose should I passed both UP and UST, and where am I supposed to reside after graduation.
I know. I know. Some plans were already made. Isn't it that I'm supposed to take up Nursing as preparatory for Medicine, ditch the condominium Mom's offering me, rent a unit somewhere near that university and have Erika as my roommate, take over my life as a college student, and be a jobless sovereign kolehiyala? But for one nanosecond, am I really sure about these? Definitely not. For once, I can't imagine myself donning an all-white uniform from head to toe and washing down some old man's full-of-stinking-shit ass. I can't imagine myself walking down along some hospital's drug-induced corridor with clipboard on one arm or pushing some broncho victim's wheelchair. I don't have anything against nurses, just that... NURSING IS SO NOT ME.
But nursing is the only option I got. There are many pre-med courses out there but almost all of them aren't as generously-paying as in Nursing. At least in Nursing daw, you'll have a ninety-five over one hundred chance of getting a humble job abroad. Anyhoo.... Pre-Med... I heard that. So that means I'm taking up Medicine anytime soon after taking up my pre-Med course. So Meggie, you wanna be a doctor? Again, winsey, I don't know.
Taking up Nursing and Medicine is altogether a major indecision. I'm planning to take up Nursing because I'm planning to take up Medicine. But the way I'm frustrated over Nursing, is only 30 percent LESS frustrated I am in Medicine. Take this: Just because my mom's a doctor people expect me to follow my mother's footsteps and be a doctor as well. Hell, I want to be a professional but I don't know if Medicine's the right one for me. Sure, I am considering Medicine, in fact I'm planting that in my mind.. medicine.. medicine.. oh medicine..OMG-- detached, replant, detached the second time, replant.. whatever.. Problem, amigos, is that I can't seem to find my heart in giving prescriptions to some intoxicated-looking god-so-ill woman or slicing up someone's tummy to take that screwdriver he accidentally swallowed last year out [okay, that's gross]. I don't know. I'm scared that when I'm already there I'd realize I'm not happy, that I regret being there, and of course, who wants regrets? Definitely not me.
Last Monday, I got to tag along with Dad at Kennedy Global in Makati. I stayed there in their office since the big bosses were not around. Dad was supposed to be with them that week but since I'd be arriving, he chose to spend the week with me na lang. haha. Anyway, I stayed there for like five hours and dang did I feel so ever comfy. I mean, I enjoyed being in "an office". It's like, I belong to the corporate world.
I remember the assessment test we took in Newton last summer. The results I got were pretty amazing. It says there that I am an
ENTJ [I forgot what this means] and that the best career for me is being a
Chief Executive Officer. Other than being a CEO, there includes other careers, which entails professionalism like being a lawyer, doctor, etc. The first time I got the results I remember being so flabbergasted for a second or two and then laugh nonstop at it. I was like, "
Come on, these results are crazy!". I was in-denial of the fact that what's written on that paper was really what they have assessed in me.
From that moment on, all I could answer when asked what course I'm gonna take in college, I'd answer "NURSING!" followed by a flat.. "...err... I'm not sure... Oh-mi-God, I DON'T KNOOOW!!!". I find this irritating because it puts too much pressure on my already pressured and constipated brain. I'm tired of brain-farting all my anxieties that I just want to decide what I really want right now.
Anyway, that same Monday-- later in the night while eating at Chilli's in Greenbelt, my cousin Kathleen exclaimed she's confused right now. She's a graduating Nursing student, and like what I'm predicting I might feel four years from now, she ain't happy. If asked what course she would have taken, she answered business admin. Yeah, like what I have in mind.
Point is, I don't want to pursue something I know I won't enjoy. Isn't it that they say that you can only find real happiness and success if you enjoy what you're doing? What if I wouldn't find that real joy? What would become of me? Oh God. I don't know.
I don't want to be an ambivalent little woman anymore. I want to be someone who has certain plans for the future. No, not long-term plans or goals. Just plans to what would be my next step is. And after my high school graduation this March. What's next?
I'm confused. Really confused.
*****
Ironic
Dad showed me this view from the same building:
I found this extremely interesting. Look, along with the fast rising high-rise buildings in Manila, the squatters seem to increase and increase. So when you go to Makati area, don't ever think that our country is fluorishing just because of the splendid sight of buildings everywhere. Do not be fooled.
I want to hear your opinions.
*******
Anyway borate,
Someone sent me this story last night:
A couple was on a motorcycle. The girl noticed that the motorcycle was on a high speed
Girl: Baby, slow down. I'm scared!
The boy gave him a knowing smile and said,
Boy: I'll slow down if you tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you!
Boy: Okay, then give me a big bear hug
The girl gave him a big hug from behind.
The boy smiled.
Boy: One last favor, can you wear my helmet for me? It's irritating.
The girl took off his helmet and wore it.
NEWS NEXT DAY: A motorcycle hit a building last night. Only one survived. The motorcycle was found with break problems.
TRUTH: in the middle of the road, the boy realized that the break was not working. He wanted to hear his girl tell him she love him, and feel her hug for one last time. He wanted her to be saved that's why he gave her his helmet. Even if it meant risking his own life.
Then I sent the story to Dad and these were his replies [I didn't expect him to react so much]:
Dad: tanga pala ung bf eh! D ihinto niya, mag engine break siya, pareho sana clang buhay and he cud have shown and proven his luv more when both of them were alive! [hehe]
Megs: HAHA. Woo. Wag ka highblood. Hehe
Dad: Ang tanga talaga ng bf! Cant imagine how dumb he is! Shet!
Morning, the next day, at Yahoo! Messenger:
Gerald decano: mooorning!
Megs `: good!
gerald decano: until now i still cant imagine how the bf decided just to die like that!
gerald decano: the dumbest love story i ever heard!
Megs `: masyado ka namang na-carried away dun!
Megs `: hahaha!
Megs `: You talaga, you're so KJ!
gerald decano: ongae
gerald decano: tanga kc masyado
Megs `: That's the sweetest/most touching love story I've ever heard!
gerald decano: ngee
Megs `: Ghash, can't you see? The guy risked his own life for his girl..
gerald decano: he didnt even bother to find a way for both of them to live
gerald decano: he can break naman eh using the engine
gerald decano: its a DEFEATIST attitude
Megs `: well, maybe he doesn’t know how to "engine break" . HAHA.
gerald decano: kaya nga tanga eh
gerald decano: in the 1st place he shud hav checked 1st the bike if its safe
Megs `: what's tanga with that? inosente! haha.
Megs `: ghad! tama bang gawan ng buong story. hahaha
gerald decano: tanga cos he let himself to die
Megs `: GET OVER IT AND JUST APPRECIATE THE STORY, OKAY?!
gerald decano: i really cant accept it
Megs `: he didn't let himself die! uhmm. there was only one helmet kasi!
gerald decano: motor lang un, they're not speeding like 100kph naman
Megs `: how can you be so sure they were not?
gerald decano: he can anytime slow down and find a safe spot
Megs `: haha
Megs `: question: can u slow down a vehicle if the break isn't working?
gerald decano: OF COURSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\
gerald decano: its only the break that aint working
Megs `: SORRY. MY bad. hahaha./ pag natuto akong mag-drive, that's the time I'll agree with you, technically.
Yes, toodles,
IT'S GENETIC.
Hahaha.
2:04 AM
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
=P
****
SD off to Tagaytay tomorrow!!! Pray for our safety okays?
Tita Shao, and Dad, SEE YAH GUYS SOON! :)
8:09 PM
Saturday, October 13, 2007
TishFirst of all, tell me if I'm going to give it all up.
I'm sick and tired of waiting. I'm sick of fooling myself there is someone waiting for me. Damn it. How could I've been such a fool. How could I let this happen to me? I don't deserve this. I should have used my head... I DON'T DESERVE YOU.
And now I'm happy that I'm learning to HATE you.
***
I've been SIMPSONIZED!
HAHA. Hindi ko kamukha. :P
****
and I made a layout for big sis LUI!!!! :)
Hope you like it, big sis! :P
*******
MALAPIT NA RETREAT! MALAPIT NA RETREAT! MALAPIT NA RETREAT!
4:46 PM
Lunes... nang tayo'y magka-BALUGAAN
Monday mornings are supposed to be the worst days of school times; but not to me. I always jumpstart the day with extreme energy, see. Like I always have five thousand watts of electricity for Monday breakfasts and my whole body's a loud and talkative vending machine [uh, you get the idea?]. And believe me when I say I am contagious. Tremendously contagious that almost every nudgehead I run into in school would be as hyper as I do-- even bubblier and livelier. Hah. So for this particular Monday, since Mondays are always in some array of cracks, the school shit started with Eka chortling nonstop all the while hearing me Rufa-Mae-ing our alma mater song during the flag ceremony. Not mentioning the killer stares of the Junior-boys at us. :P HIHIHI. Gaga, technique nga yun sa pagkanta eh. :P
In the afternoon, they pulled us out of our afternoon classes to rehearse the dances intended for the Living Rosary. In our group [we were divided into five groups; one group, one mystery], I was teamed up with this particular guy-- no, I was the one who chose him actually. They were only two of them left to choose from and I chose him over the other guy [an outright jerk, I tell you] who's never going to be my "partner"-- NO WAY! He [my partner] and I are pretty close anyway and besides, he was the best guy there that I was most comfortable with. But being his partner has gotten me infuriated for days. I've no qualms in his dancing whatsoever, even if he's not into dancing and cannot dance that well, kering-keri naman niya ko sa lifting kahit medyo wala siya sa timing [:P]. I even admire his patience for putting through my OMG-hindi-ko-yun-kaya schemes. Yes, the problem is neither in me nor in him. It's in his girlfriend.
I heard she's making away daw to him because he's "too close" daw to me. Pfft! For SkyFlakes sake, what in the world bug-ridden her brain to think that his guy's being "too close" to me?! Geez, does she even know what an interpretative dance is? The dance song is basically a wedding song-- so you expect engaging dancing with a partner of the opposite sex. I'm sorry dear, but your thinking is a tad immature. You can have the guy for yourself. He's all yours. All I'm asking is: let him dance and do his assigned job. If you still don't get my point, EH DI IKAW NA SUMAYAW! :P
Lifting baby... *grins*
I don't quite get something here, anyway. She already told most people that she's gonna inch herself away from him na especially that time when they had the biggest and most gruesome fight last month tapos ngayon may ganyan?! Tsk. Scenario reccurence.
But anyway, bahala na sila diyan. I've got a life to live. And my life does not embrace people contemptible of my time.
Moving on...
The practice ended at 4pm. Eka and I were supposed to stay at the canteen, eat, rest, and wait til 5pm [dismissal time]. Besides, we were feeling awfully dog-tired to still attend our remaining class which was
EngLit-- should be the most tedious class in school hadn't our teacher changed from Mrs. Sleepyhead to Mrs. BETTER Sleepyhead [
she's still a sleepyhead, HAHAHA]. But Nico came and told us Mrs. SleepyHead was looking for us-- apparently some dork told her our practice was over and so she asked the dancers to attend her class [yah, even how exhausted we were]. The plan was smudged, of course [bye ice cream!].-- all because of a hardnosed and inconsiderate English teacher. We attended her class and stayed there until 5pm consequently.
Since Eka and I didn't want to go home early come dismissal time, we decided to go along with AJ at Café Joe to meet Anella,
his ex-girlfriend. We thought it might be a little awkward-- AJ being seen by Anella with two girls alongside him. Arriving there, AJ introduced us to Anella, who looks older than her real age but she's really cute, and to her two companies, and then Eka and I went downstairs [Café Joe's a two-storey coffee shop] to try cafe Joe's foods. You know we just can't defy foods! ... yadayadayada...
Then we went back upstairs to check how the two were doing.. and geez,
AJ was in full grin all the time talking to Anella! When asked if he still has feelings for Anella, which was a stupid question by the way, he was
wordless-- but you can see the
sparkle in his eyes. Apparently, hindi sila nagkabalikan. Let's not give up our hopes, though.
Not. Just. Yet.Anella gave AJ another chance [accdg. to AJ] . So it's going to be like "
starting all over again". That night, I texted Anella and asked if may pag-asa ba talaga ulit si AJ sa kaniya, which I realized later on was another stupid question. She replied,
yes. Yeah right, OF COURSE!, why did I have to ask, anyway?!
Right now, I don't know if Aj's courting Anella again. I don't know. It's Aj's life. And I'm a terrifically supportive buddy of him. :P Should he win Anella back, then I'd be the happiest girl in town. HAHA.
Okay, okay, that was an overstatement.
12:45 AM
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Misery Business
Would you believe I'm now enrolled at MC?! Geez, just a week ago, I was going ballistic thinking how I am supposed to tell Dad or Grandma 'bout the whole MC stuff and how much it costs. Thank God, Dad has been supportive.
The only thing to deal with now is telling grandma the reason why I've been going home late lately.
Okay, so yesterday, Eka and I attended the first session with Coach Jeff. By the way, Eka and Anaw will be enrolling at MC as well by next week. Apparently, after what seems to be like forever phone call to Saudi to reach Eka's mom, the whole "feared" revelation came to a success. In fact, Eka's family seems to be more excited than she does! As for Anaw, her persuasion finally made his dad approved of her re-enrollment at MC. For Kat, it's still fifty-fifty. Her dad's considering the whole MC stuff but hasn't decided yet whether to allow Kat join or not. GeeZ!
Later that night, her mom called her back, and the rest is history.
The session was okay. Coach oriented us with the basic things we need to know about voice and singing, he made us do diaphragm exercise, few vocalizations, and he asked us to sing, OF COURSE. It's funny that every time I sing unaccompanied, I can't help but tremble and feel wobbly. I swear! And that makes my whole singing
terrible!
Kakahiya! Whoah.
But it's okay, I'm in a music school, I'm there to learn.
I'm there to commit mistakes. I'm there to be corrected. I'm there to achieve my dreams. WHAAAT?!!
Anyway, exams [intended for us seniors only] will be this coming Wednesday and Thursday and GOD,
I haven't prepared yet! I'm busy attending voice lessons and dance practices that my body is always pooped that I can't fish out books and notes on my school bag anymore when I get home. And I hate the admin for making the seniors' examination days on a
whole day basis.
Whatthe, so how are we supposed to study for next day's exams? Huh?
I have to try stick with it though, besides it's going to be our much-awaited
FINAL retreat next next week.
Off to Tagaytay, cupcakes. And I'm like a kid ecstatic to go to somewhere I'd definitely have fun. I know, it's a holy retreat, but come on, may free trip to MOA, free tour around Tagaytay, and to the mundane SM [as if that would be a trip no. HAHA]
I have to save up now.
***
God must have been treating me nice lately, that for the past few weeks of October, I managed to pass required projects ahead of time and was able to get a high mark on our Physics IP-- the stuff that kept my mind occupied even during lecture periods in the presscon. Good thing I could shrug it off every time I write contest pieces. Oh, yeah, we had this press conference in school last last week and boy did I serious-ed each contests. I'm really not into winning gold,
I just wanted to write,
that's all. Should I bag gold and qualify for the division level... then that would be a total bonus.
Besides, another reason why I attended the presscon, besides the passion and being a staffer of our school paper, was
to technically FLEE from class. I didn't mind missing important lessons because I didn't intend to take in new lessons at that time--
my mind was constipated, I tell you. Besides, eating and doodling in the presscon is
waaay cooler than burning my butt during Economics class.
And here's the investigatory project I was talking about:
We called our product, "AIR DESPARATOR". Basically, it's an air filter-- just more environment-friendly and ... bigger. :P I don't know if this would qualify to the "to-be-investigated"-kind-of project since it's more of an improvised gadget. It didn't really require much investigation as it's more on assembling it. Up to now, I still don't know how we got an A++ grade. Maybe Sir Chan was just really in the mood when we defended our IP.
I still hate winging out in front of the class. HAHA.
Sir Chan told us that if we defended our IP to Sir Greg in the library, [in celeb for Science Week], we would have won the IP competition. SAYANG. Extra credits din yun!
***
>>The student body went to Manaoag, Pangasinan pala last Friday. Tupigs were YUMME! You should try it. :)
>>DS [boys] won over MG last Friday. HAHA. And it's a fresh taste of victory since it took DS long to get back what was lost during their last games.
>>Watched a movie with the Yuarji and boy did I get so uber kilig even if I wasn't able to finish the whole movie since I had to go home early that night.
***
Pray that I do well in my exams okay? and I pray you loads of blessings in return. :)
I shall do Feature Articles now. GHAD, I hate you English teacher for putting me on this. HAHA.
