Like what?

I told you, all I need in my life now is a simple high school graduation.

Eight straight months to go babies. Ugh.

I really anticipate the company of my guy friends. It's not that I flirt with them, no way! I just admire the way they deal with their problems and all that. Tacky atmosphere. They're that ha-ha-ha even if their problems are way heavier than five tons of trucks.

What's even more admiring is that they have high respect on you and no matter who you are--tanggap ka nila unlike some nudgeheads I know. And because they respect you, lagi nilang iisipin yung kapakanan mo even if they're sometimes gago and all that. Hehehe.

In fact, most of the lessons I'm learning in this existence of mine are coming from them!

All I can say is that.. APoch Mga Tol!

Aish. Hehehe

[Loko nga tayo pero may puso naman tayo =)]

***

Curse!!!! RAGES!

I'm exasperated. What part of it don't you get huh?!

So maybe I'm not the perfect daughter. But I'm wholly sure that I'm a hundred percent well--damn it, I'm not crazy. I've been trying my best to regain my life and don't you just dare mess it all up. Life will be tougher. And I will get even-- I'll be tougher.

Tutu you who think I'm a loser. Tutu you who think I'm crazy. Tutu you who think I'm a good for nothing wimp. I am cursing all the bad stuff in the world. Swear words aren't enough. But I swear to the heavens down six feet under, I'm going to sue all things that would come across my friggin' way.

I'll repeat-- what part of it don't you people get?! So what if I'm into rock music? I can go to classical or country music if I want to anytime anyway. So what if I'm a little rebellious? At least I'm not scared to do things. So what If I don't dress up like that lady you see in England? At least I don't dress up like those prostitutes you see along the dim corners of the city.

There are lots of accusations-- false accusations thrown at me. I hate it. It drives me mad. But it breaks my heart more.

First of all, I’m not crazy, matino akong tao. Just because I sing out loud here at home it doesn't my mind is not well. Ganun lang talaga ako.

Second, I'm not doing drugs. I have a life to live and I have loads of dreams to achieve. I want to be successful-- let alone doing drugs. I'm a little rebellious, yes, but I know where my boundaries lie. I know where I stand and I know when to stop. I choose my companions based on how they control themselves and how they deal with things such as what I'm dealing though right now. I'm a very persnickety person-- but in a pleasant kind of way.

Third, I'm fine with my dad. But I hate my mom-- well, not exactly Mom. If these people want me to abhor Dad's wedding with Tita Shao, then be it. I will still be happy for him and tita Shao. Why, inggit kayo na masaya ako for Dad than sa inyo?! Tsk. I have reasons. And I stand on what I accept as true would be good for me and for everyone. I know this wedding will change my father's life for good. I know. And whatever's going to make my dad happy, expect me to always count in.

Lastly, I HATE YOU. Just because you can't accept the fact that we've [I've] changed you can already do those it's-your-fault looks to us [to me]. Bahala ka sa buhay mo! THE PROBLEM IS NOT WITH US. IT'S WITH YOU, and guess what dear, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. The same old problem.

And if di niyo ko feel, FINE! I don't care. :) Thankyousomuch for hating me. :) hah!

Hay buhay...

You know, the only thing that's making this whole thing painful inside is that the people who're condemning me of doing such incriminating acts are people whom I've spent almost all the best times of my life-- people I respect, care, and love.

I never wanted to ruin my life. Please don't let me do things just because you think I am capable of doing it. I want to do things-- things that I really want to do-- that would be for the better of everybody not only of myself.

Don't provoke me.

Coz just for the record...

I'm the one in control next to God.

***

Referral from Mr. Frank was worth every penny.

Anyway, thanks for the Chinese Cut.

... That I still don't get up to know since it's called a Chinese cut well in fact I look like a japanese anime.

Sod the boom.

***

Thanks for the call, guys.

That was what I just needed.