God Works In His Own Mysterious Ways

Why do I find it easy to hang around and take time on things? Why do I keep on thanking Him for the wonderful friends I have? Why do I always find comfort in isolation? Why do I keep on standing up again whenever I fall? Why do I always find tiny specks of joy during those times that I breakdown and cry?

It's because of Him.

Him who has been my best-est father, brother, and friend as I go over this life. Plus, I wouldn't be here in this world today without Him, and He's the main reason why I keep on waking up each morning.

Back then, I would always question Him things that I regard now as one of those things that don't really matter. It took me time-- with trials, joys, success, failures, pains, everything-- before I came to realize the real grounds of why some things happen or why some things fail.

Things happen not because it's by chance nor by fate, but because it is really meant for us. We cannot have what isn't intended for us. On the other hand, things fail because God knows we would benefit a lot from it. He's always giving us tribulations because He knows that we are strong and we can handle it. These life's ordeals are the best learning tools--we fail, then we try one more time, then again and again and again until we succeed. Which makes Him a total genius at that.

Anyway, God has been placing a lot of new and fantastic people in the empty seats of my Life Rail Transit and I really am grateful for that. God gave me friends who know me better than I know myself; God gave me enemies to stay strong, and God gave me a family that from the very start has been supporting and loving me all the way.

I feel like God vigilantly chose and choosing the great souls that are playing and will play a part in my life. God is really good.

There wasn't a time that He failed me in my prayers. When I pray for something, I know there's no way He wouldn't heed it--He always gives special attention to my prayers and so with yours. God answers our prayers. But God doesn't give it right away coz He knows when will be the right time or if our prayer is what we really need to pray for. We wouldn't even notice that God has already answered our prayers because He answers it in ways we wouldn't expect-- and those, oftentimes, are better that what we've asked him.

God exists.

And He works in mysterious ways.

***
Duper Late pictures

To the movies for Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.

Damn. I fell in love with Mister Silver Surfer. Hah! And Chris Evans was hotter. Oi. You movie critics should give an A++ to this film ha.

Venue of picture shooting: restroom.-aack.




















***

Roller Coaster Ride

It's been hell of a school week-- days passed almost in haste, and yet there were still mega-madcap events that took advantage of my nice-and-slow pace. It's been a roller caster ride, really. And I'm sensing that my security belt's starting to unbolt-- for now I feel like an upturned wimp, clutching to my cart's metal bar as my limp body kisses the airstream.

It was Monday when I found myself in total misfortune and jeopardy. Everything went the way I hated them to be, I woke up pretty late, I wasn't able to make certain requirements on time, my tests never got close to perfect scores, I was on a high"red alert", I forgot my scientific calculator, I forgot this, I forgot that...

Briefly, last Monday was one of those days that I really could say... "Ang malas-malas ng araw ko!"

And freaky Monday made my reading vision hazy as well-- I was just about disoriented, as you might say. I was whitewashed by wooziness and climate alterations [achoo?]. Aack. And all because of a torn contact lens.

Can you believe it?! I was about to run through a killer smile in front of my dresser's mirror that Monday morning when I saw my poor right lens on my dresser table, dried-up and tattered. I didn't know how or why it happened, so I just thought of how stupid I was to let such disaster happen.

Damn. Do you know how contact lenses cost nowadays?! Ugh! For crying out loud!

On a lighter note, I already talked to Dra. Arenas, my opthal, and she said she'll replace at once the contact lens that got ripped apart and I'm gonna see her tomorrow for a check-up appointment. Boo! I survived the week! Hah! Beat that.

But I think the week worsened my eyes' myopia.

Anyway, come Tuesday, as far as I could remember, the only thing that got into my Brain Access Memory was it was the day when Mrs. Sarmiento asked Gelleene and I to exchange seats. Hah! I was frankly furious at first, but as I get all used to my new "surroundings", I'm finally falling in love with it. Eka's in front of me now, which is a total yahoo and the boys, Marrion and Richmond, never fail to crack me up with their daily mocks.

Wednesday-- the hilarity day. Sir Greg gave his quiz Mr-Montoy-like, and I got two mistakes. BUMMER. You know how I always overreact on things. Call me weird or whatever, I feel really really down when I don't get perfect scores-- be it on my quizzes, homeworks, or just plain seatworks. Ugh. I am hell frustrated and distressed, and I don't care how people would react on that.

Anyhow, English period was fun as well. People came close to farting shit for laughing nonstop. Hah! This justifies the point that Mrs. Sleepy ain't Mrs. Sleepy anymore.

I love 4-St. Dominic. Ha-ha!

Then Mister Thursday, the iyakan blues day. Funny how we were laughing nonstop one day then suddenly almost everyone has gotten melodramatic. Cham began crying first when break time hit the clock that afternoon for some reason I didn't know at first since I wasn't able to go over and talk to her since there were a lot of people surrounding her and I was getting all too emotional as well that I couldn't find the urge to comfort her which made me even sadder.

All. Too. Emotional.

Right. The whole thing was overcrowding my brain that attending my Physics class was the last thing I ever wanted to do at that time. Reality trapped me with an opaque blanket at that point in time that my thoughts were cornered with thoughts and I began thinking how other people, particularly my old friends, think that I've already changed-- on my part, why are they afraid of change? People change. No matter how hard they try not to, they will. And I am a person who welcomes changes in life-- and I don't stick with the usuals. People who can't accept change are people who do not know how to handle their own lives. And I stand on that.

I also thought of this certain girl in class who keeps on avoiding me up to this time. Damn it. I never did anything to her, as far as I'm concerned. I tried to be someone for her but it didn't work since she tends to walk away from us. From me. And I don't even know why. I already prompted chances where we could talk and she can open up her side but it appears like she never gave a damn to those chances. She is not something for me but someone. But I guess she'll never realize that coz she’s too blinded by her loss of massive trust in me.

If there's anything that I wouldn't ever anticipate in this world, that is, dishonesty-slash-deception.

Anyway, another thought was this whole academic stuff. I don't know. I really am frustrated and I'm afraid i'm dead desperate. Why? It's because I want to prove something-- not to myself, not to my family, but to other people. That yes, I slipped last year and found it difficult to stand up again. But here I am now-- may seatbelt at helmet na! [hehehe]. I also couldn't help but think all the killer stresses that I was and am feeling. The real thing's already taking its toll and I hope I could get through this.

All right, so I really was thinking a lot of things at that time within that realism blanket. When it all became transparent, I started crying. Then I sang Fergie's Big Girls Don't Cry-- there's something in this song that beyond doubt brushes away my tears. Then I thought I wanted to release all that was inside of me. So I went out and started hitting the wall as hard as I could. Next thing I knew, nasira ko na pala yung isang side. Tsk. It was of use, though. My burden got lighter and I began feeling okay.

And that wasn't me. Me getting all fired up? Me getting all that? Me hitting walls? Come on. I wasn't being myself at that time. Gaaah!

Anyway, Erika also began crying, and then Ariane, and then Minette, and then the others. I now find it weird since most of us broke down at the same time all for different reasons. And how everything turned to be all okay? Well, I think it's the bond that binds us all as one. :P

Miss Friday-- today.

I am so upset. I even told people I wanna die but I realized later on that thinking of injuring myself won't do any good and it’s something one must let alone to do.

Pathetic.

The day got all ruined when we were about to wrap and finish the whole bulletin board thing. There was a throbbing twinge inside me that I still find tremendously odd up to now. They were happy, and I feel so little. He was praising her. And I was just the old classmate. Damn. I hate this.

One thing I don't understand: Why did I cry? Did I cry because of him?

Damn. Damn. Damn.

If it wasn't for Erika, Ivan, Jazel, and Erik, I wouldn’t be able to release what's holding me back. Thank you guys.

Thank you Cham, Thank you Anaw, Thank you Eka. Special Mention. Ha-ha!

Thank you Kathleen for you-know-what. Hahaha. :)

By the way, there was something that Rachelle, my kafatid, said that made a great impact in me.

"Let them be."

Wtf?!

"Fudge, magkakasakit yata ako..."

I thumped my head to and back the floor as I tried to look for Leslie's face who apparently was sitting on one of the sofas. I was lying flat on my back and I know you're probably wondering what the hell was I doing down there--lying. Right. It's no big deal. Really. I was just doing this crazy stuff I was telling you awhile ago then a few moments later I quite got bushed, got sluggish, and my head began killing me so I crashed down and felt the reverberating boom inside my cranium as it goes youchy as it hit the marble flooring.

What was I thinking?

Seriously, I really think I'm going to be sick. Sick like that broncho guy? No. Sick like that pneumo guy? No. Sick like that TB guy? HELL NO! I just feel like I'm gonna get colds or something.

Darn this son of a gun bitchy throbbing head of mine. It hurts so bad I wanna pass out. Owwwwww...

Just when I remember Ms. Big Fat Liar when she faked this whole fainting fit thing back in fifth grade, it was so obvious and not to mention pathetically stupid everyone could have whacked her out somewhere. My classmates back then brought her to the clinic and when she "woke up" she said she can't remember a thing. Poor thing. So how would you explain when nobody told her who brought her to the clinic and after a few days she was narrating this whole story in full details and she just knew who brought her to the clinic.

Even the nurse could testify that Miss Liar just made it all up five years ago.

It's no surprise that she hasn't changed a bit--her attitude even got worse. J-e-s-u-s-!

Anyway, I was reading my Eco book when I came across this certain paragraph that really caught my attention. Dude, it was the exact paragraph [mahaba ah] or group of words that Sir Greg was telling or discussing to class the last time. He never opens his Eco book in class but he can thrash out and finish the whole book in one episode. Beats the cake.

It was only last Thursday that I got my Economics book and you know what, he's already on his way to Chapter 2. Sir Greg, are you feeling okay? Coz I'm just wondering if you remember being abducted by aliens.. coz you know what sir undisputed pogi, I think some creature installed a massive chip within your brain that you could remember all these things even the tiniest details on certain fields. You could start from our country's scarce resources and end up to the Nematodes in the animal kingdom in Zoology.

God, you're one of a kind.

Are you normal?

Tsk.

At any rate, borate..

How amazing. How amazing that that lean guy could do great special effects and make simple yet great stories in a 10-minute film. He's so talented. Ever since the premier of ON THE LOT, I knew he could make it to where he is now. He's a born film maker. And you know what the downside is?

I don't know his friggin' name.

Not a single idea. Damn.

My head still hurts like hell.

There is something about Brendan Fraser that reminds of Randy. Randy Randy-who? Tsk. Kilala mo naman eh. Si Randy gago. Oh, naalala mo na? Yes, darling, Brendad Fraser reminds me of Randy. Maybe it's the hot bod, maybe it's the weird i-don't-know-where's-it-coming-from voice, and maybe it's just him and him. I don't know. I was watching The Mummy last night and boom, Randy just popped into my head. And I want to pop him too like a big black bubblegum. What do you think?

I haven't heard from him for like five months now. And I don't care if he's doing all right or not. I hope not. Hahaha! :P

I wanna watch Ratatouille and HP: order of the phoenix. Sige na pls?

Did you notice something? No? Then you're a loser. Hah! Kidding!!! I still love you, don't worry. Wala lang. I'm just very random. I'm blogging for blogging's sake. I just type and type and type whatever pops right into my head. You may probably have noticed that this post is too.. spontaneous. Ack. I'm not doing drugs okay; I'm just having one of my flappable days. Bare with me/

I'm going to be sick.

I know.

You know what's frustrating?

It's that I don't have fixed eating habits. One day I'll be gorging out all the food in the fridge and out of hand committing the sin of gluttony then one day I wouldn't eat anything. God damned. Do I have eating disorders?

Come on, I love to eat.


You know what's interesting?

It's the ESPN's Spelling Bee competition on the telly. It's a total bore but I kind of got hooked into it. One reason maybe is that I am learning a lot from it. From Cyanophycean to videlicet to yosenabe to serrafine to name it! I'm insane for deep English words and I don't care that most people don't get those when I use them. Hah! Another reason is that these kids, nerds for some, geniuses for me, never fail to amaze me by the way they, no not spell, but by the way they show their confidence. It's like you just know they could just sweep you off your feet just by their brains.

And I'm dying to be one of them.


You know what's lovely?

It's my guttural voice right now. I love it. Weird. Why? Because my English sounds better this way and my singing sounds... different... and raspy? Eew. Anyway, my voice is finally back-- only that the sound isn't quite normal, [hah!] I want it to stay this way, give me a week, give me twin popsies!


You know what's lovelier?

Our study room-slash-library is gradually becoming the way I want it to be. May classic carpet na and it was bought from Clark pa. You know how I've always been attracted to houses/mansions/rooms/castles that have baroque/classic approaches. It has been a dream of mine to own one, no not a mansion, but a home where there is a touch of old classic European style-- which reminds me of Queen Elizabeth and Princess Diana and of course, the Princess Diaries.

So there you have it. I also love the big tapestry you'll see the moment you enter the room, it's got a big tame lion with a boy sitting, reading a book on its side. The drapery's in full-size and I love it. The curtains are the best and the sitting area reminds me of the movie Casanova.

Kulang na lang fireplace and grandfather's clock. Hehehe. ;p


You know what's headaching?

It's those cartolinas and Elmer's glue and scissors and glitters and bond papers lying on the living room's carpet waiting to get kicked. Damn. I'm soooo tamad to start making those stuff--kelangan na yun bukas. Tsk. And those books I see beside me? Damn, stop staring at me! I promise, I'll finish you all later. LATER. Especially that thick physics book, and that English Drills, and that blue Values Ed book. Err,


You know what's annoying?

It's the whiteheads building near my nose and worse, there is one ON my nose. Shocks! I knew I should have gone to the facials yesterday. If only I wasn't that exhausted, URGH!

Okay, so I'm gonna let this week pass first with all these annoying crap on my face and tangles on my hair and I swear to the good heavens, I'm goin prepping next weekend!


You know what's funny yet extremely CREEPY?

It's Majie's message to me [gm ata] this morning:
"Ui. Napanaginipan ko si Justin. Namatay daw xa. Skt nia cancer. Tapos ansama pa uh, ung bangkay daw niya dito inilagay samin. Ai bwct. Ahaha."

Ha-ha-ha! Gory! Then little did we know that Justin's mom HAS cancer.

Freaky.

[PS. But is it really true that her mom was diagnosed of you-know? Coz if it's true, then it's a total shocker. And we all need to pray for his mom.]


You know what's weird?

It's that I'm gonna go now and stop here coz really, I'll be in serious trouble if I won't be able to finish all these required works.

Don't miss me.

Much care.

Finally

I'm all too exhausted and sapped by yesterday's election like standing up's the last thing I ever want to do now. See, I wasn't really all participating at this certain party-- I never attended practices and meetings [okay, I attended once.. just ONCE.], only that I was asked to manage this entire campaign thing a day before the room to room campaign-- to help out Megan [a junior stude] or to cajole or however you want to put it.

I was hesitant at first since, pathetic as it may seem, I thought I'd get in trouble yet again. What a big crazy thought but yeah, I WAS HELL SCARED. Then one second, like abracadabra voodoo magic, the hesitations and trepidations vanished, and then there I was, or were we rather, doing our crazy jobs.

June 21, 2007-- room to room campaign day. Everything was going really well-- we were smoothly switching rooms with smiles on everyone's faces, we were full of energy and all, then just like that, rumors started to heat everyone up, ripped posters were all over the place, tension begun rising, and people were crying. You could really feel the tension right there and there.

Then the whole thing reached Mrs. Valle [our school's prefect of discipline and the one who managed the SSG elections], she gathered all the candidates and supporters of the YSPEAKS and ELITE party at the library to patch things up. Everyone was defensive, everyone had their own explanations, and everyone was being reasonable. I did appreciate Ma'am Valle-- at that juncture, I wanna say. She said that this whole campaign or election thing wasn't carried out for people to fight, or spread nasty rumors, or to break friendships and all.

She was right. I mean, on my part, I think the whole lot could have been better if nagtulungan lahat, right? If there was only less competitiveness, maybe whatever the results could have been, for sure tanggap ng lahat without any qualms.

Anyway, June 22, 2007-- the rally. The ELITE party went first and I must say, Frances did her job really well as their campaign manager. It's very evident how she almost gave everything for the party-- she really really worked hard for it. Anyway, Cali band played Pasan by Callalily which, in all honesty, one of my (and Eka's) favorite songs. Eka and I really wanted to go in front of the stage and do the rock on jumps-- like we did when we watched one of Callalily's gigs at this certain mall. But we ended up doing crazy moves just on our seats. Anyway, Nathaniel, who happens to be Cali's vocalist (?) and a friend of mine sounded and looked like Kean Cipriano. Our school's gymnasium has big electric fans only to reduce the heat which I know for a fact is caused by global warming. Okay, so even if gargantuan electric fans were everywhere, it was still friggin' HOT that crazy Friday morning-- so what's the point? Hay naku, si Nathaniel, mantakin mo nakasweater at naka-hood pa habang kinakanta yung Pasan, aba, magpaka-Kean ba! Martir ka talaga Nat! he-he-he. But it's all good.

A'right, after the ELITE party, it was Paula's party's turn [YSPEAKS]. And I, together with Megan, did the whole "hosting”. Ha! I prefer being "the host" than being the "campaign manager" eh. Hehe [hi mami pau!]. Wala lang. It's been a dream of mine kasi to be an event host- so ayun. Maybe the rally yesterday was my "big break". What do you think? Ha-ha, we'll see. ;p

FYI, paos na paos ako ngayon and whole day nang tikom bibig ko. [sana may naka-aapreciate ng ginawa ko. haha.]

Anyway, Justin won over Paula as the SSG president. Before I say my thing, I want to share to you a simple nonsense thought of why Paula didn't win.

Lahat daw ng tumatakbong Vice President for SSG tapos nanalo and tumakbo as SSG president the next year, for sure, HINDI MANANALO.

And they all say it's a curse. I really wasn't going to believe it, but Paula's defeat proved it all right. It gave me goosebumps. Paula won as the SSG VP last year, and when she ran as SSG president this year, she didn't win. This was also the same reason why Ate Justine declined the offer to run as SSG president last year. And mind you, no former SSG VP won as the SSG P the next year. As in no one.

But on the other hand, I still believe that it's God's plan.

To Mr. Justin Tumanan, congratulations!!! Do your best to do your job to serve the whole student body. We're all here for you. We should all move on now since election's over and it's a whole new day ahead-- with you of course as Dominican's new SSG president. I hope this would serve as a nice training for you-- who knows? Maybe one day, you won't just be serving one student body but a whole community or nation na. hehe.

To Mami Paula Patungan, congratulations still for a job well done. God has indeed greater plans for you, I know. You're a strong person and I know this ain't gonna pull you down, kaw pa. We'll always be here for you and if you need one fidge, I'm just here. Lots of care mami Pau! Stay pretty. :)

And to all the candidates who got elected, a big big big congratulations to all of you. People voted all of you because they believe that you can do your duty well in your assigned positions. Do all your bests to keep your jobs okay? And to those who didn't make it, this is only the beginning. There are a lot of other opportunities out there. :)

Sigh. I'm soooo overwhelmed. I'm so overwhelmed coz election's over. I'm now gonna get a goodnight's sleep, and I'll be able to focus on my studies na, Yey. My voice is still playing somewhere I don't know and I hope the turd will come back before Monday.

Worst election. Finally. Tapos na.

***

b.u.s.y.

Much as I want to blog all day long, [I swear I will never ran out of thoughts lalo na ngayong schooldays], much as I want to clean the mess out of my room [daig na ang Payatas. Tsk.], much as I want to have my face and hair done, much as I want to get an over 8-hour goodnight sleep, much as I want to finish all my books, much as I want to go to the movies, much as I want to just go somewhere and shop or eat or whatever... HINDI TALAGA PWEDE.

Well, pwede naman. Only that I don't have the fuckin' friggin' time. TOXIC! Then there goes Britney Spears' toxic song in my backdrop. Eew.

According to the dictionary, Toxic means poisonous. But in student/worker lingo, toxic means work overload. And that's just what's happening to me at this very moment. Just when I was about to breathe easy coz election's ended, thoughts of all the works I left behind begun encroaching my brain and hell I don't even know what job to start.

Being a senior isn't all glitz and fun and all that you think a senior stude's having. Sure, you've got all the great privileges your lowerclassmen would take forever before having, but you're faced with lots of jobs and responsibilities. And it ain't easy coz people expect a lot of things from you. Better things. Greater things. And it's taking all the pressures up.

The only thing that makes this whole lot a bit lighter for me is the sweet company my friends are giving me. I love them. Plus the jamming with this certain band makes me feel so high all the time. Hah! Buti na lang nag-jam tayo yesterday-- we were able to let loose all that's eating us inside. Ye! Kuya "Jil's Musician" is soooo nice.

I miss Kaffi. I miss ate Andrea.

I miss Newton Batch 1 people. I hate snobs.

I love Chicken Soup books. Nakakarelate ako. Sobra.

Guys, magkano laughing gas? He-he-he.

***

>>I wish for world peace, and foy my friends and families' health

>>and I wish that my other personal wishes will also be considered by the birthday wish fairy.

Wooooooooooooooooooooooosh,,

Of course, a birthday post wouldn't be complete without the Thank Yous:

People who made my birthday really special:
Lola Laureana, Lolo Benny, Daddy Gee, Tita Shao, Mommy Mai, Leslie, Dessiree, Mark Phillip, Charmaine Mae, Erika, Armely, Jonvi, Kathleen Rose, Denise, Luisa, Rose Anne Unlayao, Rose Ann Ferrer, Lorena, twin Danica Bianca, Mami Paula, Dadi Chad, Jamy, Jazel, Veverly, Frances Jane, Kenneth Kevin, Louise Marie, Majie, Nico, Charlyn, Karissa, Renz, Timothy, Hedy, Crystal, May Anne, Makrinalyn, Charmaine, Melanie Bermachea, Ramon Carlos, Melanie Christy, Katherine Villaga, Triccie, Ariane, Rachelle Ynah, Rainier, Ivan, Arjune, Allen, Elmer, [yung DJ sa MOR], IV SD, IV SAG, Dominicans

GIFTS:

>>A cute chocolate cake from Armely:

>>A Bearhuggs bear from Renz: [He's no longer courting me, fyi.]

>>Moolah from dad:

$$$

>>Favorite foods from Lolo and lola:

>>I will no longer run in the elections--I consider it as a gift from Justin. Hehe.

>>Bati na kami ni Nico. Ha-Ha-Ha. :P

>>A 12am to 4am phone call from Jonvi

>>A sweet call from Cham:

>>A weird call from Dad: hehe.

>>Sweet text messages from friends, classmates, relatives, batch mates, and schoolmates.

>>Friendster and online greetings from friends and people I don't know. Haha.

>>A Victorian top I bought for myself.

A big big big thank you to all of you guys who remembered me, my birthday and everything. I"m really touched. As in sobra. I"ve never been this melodramatic in all my birthdays, I dunno, Maybe it’"s just the fact that it would be my last birthday na asa DS ako. Nudge, and to all of you that I forgot to point out, I really really am grateful that I have you as part of my life. I love you so much, guys!!! Thanks!!!

****

Quotable Quotes?

"kamukha mo si mam sarmiento pag makapal ang make up mo."

Damn Aj, Damn.

"wag kang patatalo. Kayanin mo. Lowerclass kasi sila eh, upperclass tayo."

Hindi damn, Jonvi, hindi damn.

Hehe.

***

=)

All Ends Well

Life's getting better and better for me. Yes, there are still trials and pains and stuff and all of that, but you know what, I learned that it is all just a matter of taking all of those as a motivation-- somewhat somewhere like the way you drink your required multivitamins; and of thinking as well that whatever bad stuff you're into right now, it is a hundred and nine percent sure that something good-- something more and better than you would expect, will happen.

The first week of classes left me unguarded with lots of foolhardy pain-in-ass stuff which literally made my life fall into transient disarray. People were taking me for granted, people were being so impudent, people were giving me lots of odd jobs, people were giving me lots of work and work and work which actually weren't appropriate for me, people were abusing, people were killing, people were going wild. I was, in all sense, being very uncompromising.

I found it hard to be flexible on things that needed so much flexibility on my part. I was all stressed up. Then a friend of mine told me to take things nice and slow-- to enjoy every single moment of my existence-- to relax-- to be strong.. [ahem, Hi Lui!] I took hold of her advises and put it all on me. I tried all my best, and right at this moment, I can say I am succeeding. And there's no way I would ever try to disregard the important things in my life especially my studies ever again.

Coz I know the price to pay...

Undeniably, the onset of my school year was a little hell-ish and out of hand, but as things take place and all, I found out that everything I found hell-ish first would eventually turn into something lovely.

Anyway, the day before my day, I had a reasonably great time with my friends yet again. Like boy, I've always been this same old turd who would for eternity feel the need to go out and have fun with these people. It's like they're my comfort sanctuary, more or less.

And I consider it as one of human's basic necessities.


siigh... I miss this bitch.

***

Have A Break, Have a Kicaco



See what I'm talking about? That's why I love my friends so much. :)

***

Hey, BIG FAT LIAR:

I knew I shouldn't have trusted you. Everybody was telling me not to believe a single word from you, since you tend to make things up-- making bad things worse and the worse, worst. I must say, liar, YOU'RE A GOOD ACTRESS. You cried in front of us for us to what, pity you? then believe whatever you're blabbing about? Pfft. Don't be stupid. I never wished for any misunderstandings and stuff this year and please don't ever try to make one again. MUNTIK NA, liar. Muntik na.

And you know what, THAT'S IT. I've had enough. I don't want to try to believe or trust you ever again. Never again will you fill lies in my head. Never again will you make us believe that you are the protagonist of every scene. Never again will you make us fall into your decieving trap.

Save all that crap for yourself. It's your vitamin right? It may solve your biggest problem right now-- your undernourishment state.

Zip your mouth now. So you will not ruin lives.

Fake. Bitch. Liar.

***

Sorry, like JP said, I am very vocal and straightforward. I just need to let things out. :)

=D

Psst.

Ehy guys, just a short one.

I won't be blog hopping for a little while except for these people's blogs: "Dimple Overhill of Nobottle SweetCheeks", "Sassy-lilmaldeetuh", "Rockerghal", "Bangsynah", and "SistaChummy"

I'm really busy and I don't know when would this saddle vanish or if it would ever go away with the wind. Damn it.

I'll be editing this one once hindi na ako ganun ka-toxic.

Thanksabunch!

***
Psst.

I added something na... here:

I want to back off.

Frances, after all, was right when she said that that stupid election's nothing but a complete fraud. It's all a game of popularity, man; and I, not that I'm scared of losing or anything, really want to call it all off in the elections since it won't do me any good in the long run anyway [well except for the EC points you may get, but hell you don't even know if you're gonna win it or not]. Plus focusing on your academics is way better than engaging on some kind of blimey fraudulent fame competition.

Why am I being odious at this suddenly? Simple. It's because I got pissed. I got pissed by both parties this afternoon. I'm not mad or anything with these running presidents- just that blah blah blah--apparently blah blah blah are things that are not accessible to the public eye. Tsk. Basta, naasar talaga ako.

Anyway, I got to see Sir Chan for the first time-- this school year-- at class this morning. It's weird coz even if it is already more than five days since the start of the whole school year; it was only today that I got to see this ever neat-looking witty weirdo Physics man. And our campus ain't that big! Okay. You bet, he hasn't changed a bit! And he didn't grow an inch taller. Ha-ha. Now it's my turn to do the ragging Mister Jupri Tsan. Ha-di-ha!

Sir.

If you don't mind...

Are you pregnant?

Hahahahahahahahhahahaahhahaahahahhaha!!! =D

Enough. Enough. Enough. Coz I gotta admit, I missed him! The fact that we're on the same family tree but both fixated on unlike and distant branches, I still couldn't help but miss him for roughly two years of him not entering our room or him not handling our Science grades—which I am expecting, presently, to be higher than what I had some ages ago.

Anyway, I am itching to start our investigatory project. Woo!

Gumaganda raw ako sabi ni Miss Cecil.
Ang kinis daw ng skin ko sabi ni Melanie Ber at Triccie.
Blooming daw ako pag naka-contacts sabi ni Eka.

Ahahahaha!!!

A'right, amma go now since I need to finish loads of things needed and required in school. And this I'm gonna tell you once, I am so enjoying every single thing I am doing even if it would mean adversity on my part.

And I know I'm not missing any thing bout it.

[edited]

Iskarsiti daw

Sir Greg is infatuation. Sir Gregorio is love. Sir Gregorio Baldelomar is the man.

First of all, I don't get it why people tend to get afraid of him [and to Mrs. Valle as well]; all of this weird stooping and all-- it's not like they're gonna eat you or something. Well, you've got nothing to be afraid of anyway unless you've done something seriously wrong or you didn't follow one or two of their rules. But above all, they're harmless. And I love'em. Sir Greg most especially. [EXCLUDE valle. haha.]

Darn this son of a brainy dogmatic dude. Seemingly forty-something-year of age, I can see his shadow self as someone who's read a lot of books-- maybe he's got one huge library at home or something with all these information-beaming tomes and stuff--, as someone who perceptibly, I suppose, is a coffee man pictured with newspaper in both hands, as someone who's meeting a lot of intellectual people sitting atop of their own expertise everyday though you won't see him actually going out and meeting whoever extraordinaire up and yahoo-ing his students for not being around and all-- boy, you can always see him doing his rounds like Sr. Goretti, with all her respect, during his free periods, and as someone who's taught a lot of things to his offspring [to his children: Kuya Noel, Ate Grace, and the others, if there's any]

He's more of a professor than a teacher to me. He can be a philosopher-slash-logician. He can be a public prosecutor. He can be Mr. Bean, in all sense. He can be Spiderman. And he can be our country's next president. Seriously. Being opinionated and on a tight rein, I know he can be. Just eliminate he's being slouchy. Ha-Ha.

Anyway, he's teaching us Economics IV. Damn it. It's just the onset of the whole unit and I now feel that my head is being sliced by a razor-sharp scalpel. I don't wanna have nervous tensions right now and for the rest of the year-- hopefully, for crying out loud. Don't make me get those GNP, GDP, CP-what?, IR, taxations and stuff. Damn it. And that Adam Smith guy? Damn him.

Ha-Ha-Ha! =D

Ang dali-dali ng Math. Ha-Ha!



***

Do you know why I seem to be avoiding you these days? it's because nilalayo mo sarili mo sakin. There was a time and it was Friday, you-- you...--. I got really affected by that sole action of yours though you've been doing that since last year. I just can't take it. I want to be close to you and know things about you but damn it, reality check, I don't know a single thing about what's going on with your life at the moment. I am not asking a single thing about you. But do I still need to ask?

All those things that are bothering and affecting me emotionally, ikaw lang ang may alam. Coz I trust you more than any fucktard in this world. But it seems like I'm coming out being the selfish bitch. I wanna feel that I am a best friend. Or if not, kahit friend man lang.

Yes dear, nagtatampo ako.

nagtatampo lang ako.

***

EXCUSE ME FOR THE SHORTS POSTS I AM AND WILL BE MAKING OKAY? The school load is already taking its toll and I've got to get along nicely with it.

Much love, nudgeheads. :)

Pugad Baboy

Una sa lahat, gusto kong ipaalam sa inyo na kanina pa ako lumalamon ng peanut butter sandwhich dito sa harap ng kompyuter ko. Mantakin mo, kalahati na lang yung natira dun sa isang pack ng butter loaf bread na kakabili lang kanina. Hindi na ako magtataka kung masikip na naman yung uniform ko bukas. Naman, tignan mo ko! dali! lapit pa. O diba ang taba taba na naman ng mukha ko. Mukha ko lang tumataba hindi yung katawan ko, pochak naman. O siya sige, magpapaalam muna ako sandali. Pasensya ka na, kaibigan. Gutom pa ko e.


***


***

You, You, yes YOU! Gimme a dorky suprise party, okay?! hahahahahahaha!!!! :D




with lots of food.

I am a Newton Kid.

Go find me. Go find FIONA.




It's been two months since the Newton Review ended and now I couldn't help but get all nostalgic about the same stuff all over again. These past few days, we were bumping along our former reviewmates checking what's up and stuff and boy, how we wish we could turn back time.

Nobody in our batch [Batch 1] wants to join the Campus Tour next week. It's sad coz it would be the last occasion that we'd all be together again--say reunion in some sense, and we're all just letting it pass like an insignificant baloney. Plus in our so-called refreshers that we would be taking up before any of our CETs, we wouldn't be with the same people we've been with during the summer review. Bummer.

We were also informed that those tests we took during the review have been mailed to our parents/guardians already. Well until now, as my folks claim, they still haven't received a single item yet. Okay, so unlike the majority, I am not worried. Yes, I'm saying I should guard our goddamned gate as well or curse the mailman or threaten him and stuff, uff, all for crying out loud. Anyway, if truth be actually told, I'd want them to see my test results. I want them to realize that I am serious and not doing any stuff that won't do well to me. Let's say, it's my fair means of gaining their trust.

Anyway, there is something I wanna say to this batch mate of mine who happens to be one of the brainiacs I am dying to beat this year:

Girl, you don't know how lucky you are to have a lot friends around you. Sure you have all the riches in life and you easily get what you want, but when was the last time you've been grateful to these things? I was idolizing you then for being this strong-willed, hidebound, austere yet witty person you still are up to this time. But lately, I'm finding out that man, you can be worse than I do when it comes to certain things. Honey, there is one person out there who cares a lot about you because she still considers you as a friend, and you don't even notice it coz you are too blinded by all the good lights beaming at you. It's true that you were good friends before and yes you had a lot of misunderstandings. But you know what, this girl doesn't seem to mind what went before coz what matters for her is the camaraderie formed between the two of you. It's just disappointing that you have to disregard her of your life. You have changed, dear.

Wanna know if this is you?! Hit me. Ask me personally, or contact me. And I'll tell you.

***
I'm excited for this week. I'm itching for workload. Ha-di-ha. For all I care, baby.

Caffeine Overdose

It seems like the coffee I am drinking as I type this has more caffeine molecules than usual coz I'm all jittery and paranoid. But this wouldn't just prevent me from sipping through my coffee cup-- Hell, this is my yoga alternative.

I don't know if my high intake of caffeine has something to do with this nonstandard edginess I'd always feel towards almost everything that I'm about to do or doing or something. Odd. It's odd coz I've known myself for not being this kind of shaky hysterical person. See, every morning, the past week, I'd get really all wobbly whenever I enter the class and all for no apparent reason. Pathetic. I know.

That's why it's weird, bucko.

And you know what; I could drink ten cups of espresso in a day and still get a well-deserved eight-hour good night sleep. I dunno. It's my milk proxy, I guess.

Since I am in all probability having a caffeine overdose, I might as well reduce my caffeine intake. Ditch the on-ice drinks, chillers, hot cups, and all that and stick with hot green tea for the meantime. I'd get back fully to my caffeine world once this whole college entrance examination thing is over.

Downside is, by November or December pa matatapos tong entrance exams na to! Pak.

Speaking of CETs, I now have the application forms needed to take the UPCAT, thanks to my trusted friends Kathleen and Lorena. We are only required to fill up Form 1 since Form 2 is solely for whoever school administrator's assigned to do the work.

I wasn't really giving my full attention to these forms since the deadline would still be on Friday-- and I've got all the time to do this filling up thing.

A'right, I don't really want to make a fuss about it but when my eyes got tempted and my hands got all itchy and since I had nothing better to do this afternoon, I grabbed the free pen from my Seventeen Mag and filled up some stuff in Form 1. Everything was going really great and simple and easy but when I flipped the form over, I could swear I saw blood trickling down my face. Okay, okay, I'm exaggerating. But it's true that it got me boggled and all. Like I didn't have the slightest idea of what to write down there and regardless of my one-hundred-fifty-eight-thousand-page mind vocab, I still didn't have a single idea what those terms mean. Aye, Aye, can I phone a friend?

Anyway, Dad told me that he wants me to enroll in a belly dancing lesson/class/whatever. Just in time when I, together with some of my girl friends, are planning to join up a kick-boxing lesson, Pilates, Belly dancing, or Gym workout. We still haven't decided yet. But we're prioritizing a Gym membership-- just to tone up muscles and all, y'know.

Plus just imagining myself belly dancing with all the Indian costumes you have to wear... I am so goin to throw up NOW. Blech. Hahaha. I'd rather see myself belting out some tune at Center for Pop or simply sing a Kelly Clarkson's song at Kodak Theater [lang naman] than doing those wormy blimey dance. Seriously.

Right.

It's a family frustration. Nobody's admitting it. But it's an obvious frustration.

My dad sings well. He can go from Josh Groban to James Ingram to Martin Nievera to Elton John to Elvis Presley and all. I mean, it all seemed like he was already singing at the time my paternal grandmother brought him out into this world. And as far as I'm concerned, his talent never tainted a bit-- it's just getting better and better. And for which I can say it is really from my Dad that I got my passion in singing.

My uncles can sing. My first cousin Mark sings as well. Even my paternal grandfather can also sing. I mean the DECANO kith and kin are definitely all but a bunch of singers. Just that, the talents can only go from bathroom concerts to church singing to band and wedding singing and to videoke escapades only. The only difference is that nobody's criticizing, just admiring. Nobody seems to want to broaden the exposure of their talents except for me.

And as much as I want to be a singer and have my own album, I just can't. Coz I tend to get jittery when I sing.. BLAME THE CAFFEINE OVERDOSAGE.

But when I go to college, makikita niyo. Makikita niyo. MAKIKITA NIYO.

***






^First greeting for Nudgehead's Day came from her. And she did it the special way. Awwww. I'll remember that. =p Always.

You should make me happy now.

I wasn't expecting that yesterday would be the most derelict day so far that I'd have this year. It was entirely ruined I could almost kill myself. I was pissed off and I was pissing other people off as well.

A mass full of slip-ups. A bitch asking me to join the election. A guy I thought was kind enough to be KIND, turned out to be the greatest in-disguise loser I've ever met. The same guy I was crushing on gave me ten full reasons not to like him and now I hate him. A girl who happens to be one of my closest friends begun to ignore and avoid me again for some reason I don't even know. Tidied up the classroom all by myself first then when my group mates came, they begun complaining and stuff when they didn't seem to have the right to complain, for crying out loud. We were scrubbing the floor when the rain started pouring down and we all had to hurry up. Isolation while waiting for a ride. Caught in heavy traffic. A guy I was expecting to come didn't show up. A text message from a cousin pissed me off. A text message from Dad about mom got me more pissed. A hacked email account. Personal blogs I had for almost a year were gone. Lights went off. Someone I rang hung up instantly. Chest pains killing me. Tummy churning.

I felt really messed up. It took me awhile to calm down and boy, it was an arduous process. But thanks for the Muncher and coffee that I am munching and sipping as I type this, I am now looking at the brighter side of the whole lot. It's good that I have a new one--a new blog.. So I won't have to go online again and ruin my schedule or things-to-do list unless I'd have to update this blog coz I'm still deciding whether to open a new multi account. Basta I'm gonna concentrate here muna.

So I'm gonna stop here since I really have to get ready now. I'm gonna meet my friends in a short while, and I'm gonna story tell later. Bye.

Gemini



Sweaty, messed-up, and wasted from school, I stood there waiting long-sufferingly for Leslie to arrive. I checked my mobile phone for time and I realized I've been standing there for 27 minutes flat. Checking my phone time and again was rather frustrating; I was growing impatient every second. For which I thought Leslie should understand how every second really counts by then. Then chucked the thought realizing I could have been worse.

I keenly monitored every passenger jeepney that was passing by the main road-- I was begging Him for me to see a Maja Salvador look-alike somewhere, somehow, among the passengers. But instead, out of nowhere, there emerged two souls wearing shirts of the same color, for which my eyes took a few seconds before it adjusted to the real sight.

I wasn't dreaming.

It was him, plus her. Shock was eating my body drastically and I begun to walk away-- or what could have been more stupid. I was hearing his voice calling my name, and I knew we were making a scene-- a scene that was amusing the eyes of the onlookers.

I couldn't look him straight in the eyes. I didn't know what to feel. There was the anger, the delight, shame, and all of that. I wasn't really talking to him-- I was-- but I can-t seem to find the push for that. Good thing there was his friend to save me.

Then she said:
"Uy, Fiona, lam mo ba dito na siya mag-aaral"

I said: "Oh, bakit?"

Her: "Dahil sa'yo"

"tsk. Hay nku, wag nga kau."

"totoo. Pakita mo nga.."

Then HE showed me something to which supported what they were telling me. They were serious. But I was in denial.

"Wag niyo nga kong lokohin"

Him: "Sinundan kita. hehe. "

Then from a sight, I saw a small group of Lycenians walking towards us, and then I saw Leslie. They went up the bus and I followed.

"Ba't ka bumaba [ng baguio] ?" I said through the bus window.

"PARA NGA SAYO!" he said at the top of his voice. And onlookers got even more mesmerized.

They went on their way, and I sunk in my seat crying. How could I've been so stupid?! He gave up his cool schoolife there for me. FOR ME. I mean, he was a having a damn great LIFE! Damn. This guy keeps on confusing me.

But I was and still touched. I made a complete turd out of him while he, I realized later, never did anything to show deeds of bitching me and all.

I'm so mean. And I'm a bad bad person. I have things crowding my already manipulated mind. One is, am I confusing everything for nothing? Damn.

I need to talk him again. And seriously this time.

Words of wisdom from my board of trustees:

''I guess for him, life in SLU in Baguio hasn't been the same without you, thus left it to see you again. Insane? Tanga? Crazy? Crazy as it may be, but he's a crazy ass just to see you. But it wasn't your fault; it was his decision to do so. Wanna end the confusion? Follow what your heart tells you Megs.''
~Melz

For JP, THANKS. Andami nun eh. Hehehe. Doumo Arigatou!

***
>> Mam Sarm's punishing me. Lots of things to do, man.

>> I'm rather sleepy and hungry now.